Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief - Novel Steals Home, But Movie Strikes Out

Based on the novel by Rick Riordan

Screenplay by Craig Titley

Directed by Chris Columbus

Novel Published July 1, 2005 (April 1, 2006 in paperback)

Film Released February 12, 2010

Do I like Percy Jackson – Yes, No, or Maybe?

Yes.

Now, before you all go and start saving seats on the bus or in the cafeteria, I have to admit that I don't like like Percy Jackson, just regular like. I mean, if I had read the book when I was a 12 year-old boy who struggled with his homework because of his ADD, I would have found Percy Jackson to be an amazing protagonist with whom I could greatly identify. Except the whole being-the-son-of-a-powerful-Greek-god thing. That is where the commonalities end. Nonetheless, the fascination I have had in Greek mythology since my pre-teen years is what initially drew me to this story. Unfortunately (or not), it is not what's keeping me hooked on the book series.

Percy is a young boy with an attitude problem. He moves from school to school because he fights and gets picked on for his poor academic performance due to his ADHD and dyslexia. His mother, a sweet kindhearted women puts up with Gabe, Percy's obnoxious, rude and terribly smelly stepfather. But a whole new world is opened to Percy when every young student's worst fear happens and his substitute teacher transforms into a horrifying, hideous winged monster and attacks him. When his best friend Grover and his Latin teacher Mr. Brunner (aka Chiron) – both coincidentally handicapped-in-disguise – come to his aide, he learns of his mythical lineage and is whisked away to the aptly-named Camp Half-Blood.

In this modern day twist on Greek mythology, the offspring of the gods and humans or demigods are destined for the lives of heroes, hardwired for battle and ancient practices (thus explaining his ADHD and dyslexia problems – their brains are better suited to read and understand more ancient languages). With training, Percy discovers his inherent fighting skills and amazing power to wield water and the sea. However, being the son of Poseidon poses major problems.

Because of events like World War II, Zeus and the Olympians passed a law to never again bear demigod offspring (apparently, Hitler was the son of Hades). The gods were interfering with human civilization too much. Once Zeus' master lightning bolt goes missing, all eyes turn towards Percy as the illegal child of one of the Big Three Gods (brothers Zeus, Hades and Poseidon). A war between Zeus and Poseidon is on the rise, presumptively set up by their bitter brother Hades.

The book offers a great variety of mythical gods, animals and adventures that Percy experiences on his quest to return the lightning bolt to Zeus. References to Dionysus, Ares, Aphrodite and Hephaestus, Medusa, Cerberus, Echidna and Chimera, New Jersey, St. Louis, Denver, Las Vegas and Hollywood all make up an amazing quest this young boy must survive. (And just FYI, the sequel called The Sea of Monsters is filled with even more gods, monsters and myths!)

I wish I could say that the reason I don't like like Percy Jackson is because I need something “more mature”, like all you girls used to tell us boys back in middle school... or high school... (or college...). But alas, a more mature rendition of Percy Jackson is exactly what was wrong with the movie. Casting a 16 year-old Zac-Efron look alike as the Prince of the sea removed all of the fantasy and wonder of discovering a mythical world right in front of you. Ask anyone how they think the first installment of Harry Potter brought such a wonderful world of magic to the screen? It's because the characters were portrayed (admirably, might I add) by young children who would have soaked up that kind of a world like magic-loving sponges. Kids that age aren't concerned with school or girls or cars or acne, but of their family and friends and impossible dreams coming to life. The similarities between the Harry Potter and Percy Jackson stories are great, but the movie adaptation of The Lightning Thief ignores tons of character development, action sequences and an epic over-arcing plot worthy of Homer.

In hindsight, I suppose I should thank Percy Jackson. Not since the phrase “book report” was a common assignment have I read so much. And not nearly as eagerly. I think now I should dust off the notes from my Greek Mythology lectures in hopes of understanding all of the references sure to pop up in the rest of the saga. I won't be expecting Hollywood to be doing the same when they write their sequels.

Novel Rating: 9.0 out of 10

Film Rating: 5.5 out of 10

CAST

Logan Lerman as PERCY JACKSON

Brandon T. Jackson as GROVER

Alexandra Daddario as ANNABETH

Catherine Keener as SALLY JACKSON

Pierce Brosnan as MR. BRUNNER / CHIRON

Kevin McKidd as POSEIDON

Sean Bean as ZEUS

Steve Coogan as HADES

Jake Abel as LUKE

EARNINGS

Novel sold 1.8 million copies

Film earned $88.7M domestic, $137.7 foreign (Budget estimate: $95M)

Tron: Legacy - An Epic Poem from Cyberspace

Directed by Joseph Kosinski

Written by Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz

Characters by Steven Lisberger and Bonnie MacBird

Production Design by Darren Gilford

Costume Design by Michael Wilkinson

Original Music by Daft Punk

Released December 17, 2010

***SPOILER ALERT***

In 2010, 37 novels, comics, children’s stories and video games were adapted into films. 19 films that were released were sequels. And at least 17 franchises dating back to before the turn of the millennium were rebooted. It should come as no surprise that we live in an age of adaptation and revamped stories. Few domestic films that are widely released are original works. Of these 70+ films, do we – the viewers – get anything new from the adaptation? Do we see things from a different perspective? Has the story grown as we have aged? Are these stories able to transcend into something more than mere sequels?

The 1980s saw the rise of computers and the internet. Cyberspace became the new digital frontier; a place of which scientists could only dream exploring. Apple and Microsoft were less than a decade old. Disney’s Tron (1982) is a story about exploring “The Grid”, a luminescent, pixilated world where programs perform their functions, electricity flows like ambrosia and corrupted files pose a serious threat to both man and machine. The Master Control Program or “MCP” has enslaved programs (generally personified and depicted its programmer), forcing them to enlist into his army or fight to the death in his gladiatorial arena of games. Accidentally downloaded into The Grid by laser, programmer Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges) teams up with a program called Tron (Bruce Boxleitner) to overthrow the MCP. The Grid is reformatted, so to speak, and the legend begins.

Advance 28 years. Kevin Flynn has been missing for over 2 decades. His son, Sam (Garrett Hedlund), has refused the life as Encom CEO his father has left for him. With a little coercion from Kevin’s old friend Alan Bradley, writer of the Tron program, Sam unearths his father’s dirty little secret: an office with a super computer and laser hidden beneath Flynn’s Arcade. And with one wrong keystroke, Sam meets the same fate of his father. Now trapped on The Grid, he must survive treacherous games defending himself from glowing boomerang sawblades thrown by gladiator ninjas, or motorcycle gangs streaming an impenetrable tail of light.

So what has changed in the past 3 decades? “War in the Middle East and the Lakers/Celtics rivalry” aren’t exactly new developments. But “cell phones, online dating, Wi-Fi”… advances in technology have certainly changed the way we move, the way we meet, how we do business, how we entertain ourselves. The program gladiators of 1982 wore suits and helmets of white. The LightCycle Game was confined to right angles. The gladiator programs who battled against each other were innocent pawns in the MCP’s game. The soundtrack, composed by Wendy Carlos (also scored A Clockwork Orange and The Shining), evoked a curious, inquisitive feeling of mystery and wonder.

However, a Grid that formed in the era of smartphones, social networks, and cloud storage must reflect the attitudes and consequences of these advancements. We’ve become more cynical, hungrier for more media, demanding faster speeds and new mediums, suspicious of internet predators and scammers. Skilled gladiators of the 2010 Grid, adorned in the darkest of black armor, ruthlessly fight to survive in the disc battles, sometimes wielding two weapons at once. LightCycles ride more smoothly along the game grid, trailing that familiar stream of light through which no cycle can drive… But you can definitely shoot a hole through it large enough for your new awesome custom 4-Wheel Drive LightRider to fit! Or you got your pilot’s license, just take the LightPlane or LightJet for a spin, a flip and a tumble! Not only can the Cycles move fluidly through 360 degrees, but watching Tron: Legacy in IMAX 3D brings the perfect complement to the new dimension of Light-vehicles. In the same way that Disney once showed us a whole new world on a magic carpet ride, the Light-flight dog fight is an absolute 3D roller coaster. Additionally, Daft Punk provides an amazing score of electronic beats that resonate from the IMAX sound system.

Much like the name suggests, this film is not simply a sequel, nor is it merely a reboot. It’s a legendary tale of cyber gladiators fighting for survival, riding on ribbons of light, defeating corruption, passing the torch from father to son. The Tron franchise bridges generations and technologies. In Tron, we stood at the edge of a new digital frontier and wondered, “What if?” In Legacy, we looked back and asked, “What have we done?”

Rating: 8.5 out of 10

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Personal Writer's Notes:

How I define the difference between an adaptation, a sequel and a reboot is a matter of medium and time. Stories can fulfill two or all three of these categories at once. But probably one more than any other. A sequel should follow some characters through a timeline after a previous stories like the episodes of Star Wars. An adaptation moves from one medium to another, from graphic novel or TV show or novel or play or even video game to film. Reboots, however, revive a story for a new set of viewers. The 2010 rendition of The Karate Kid is a reboot. Mr. Miyagi and Daniel Larusso are no where to be found. It's not even karate... it's kung fu. Another example of a reboot is Let Me In, the American rendition ofLet The Right One In, a Swedish adaptation of a novel by the same name. 

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Twilight: New Moon - New and Slightly Improved

Directed by Chris Weitz

Written by Melissa Rosenberg

Based on the novel by Stephenie Meyer

Novel Published 8-21-2006

Film Released 11-20-2009

Have I learned anything since having seen and read the first installment of the Twilight Saga? Not really. Only that emo girls who grow up to become emo women will tend to write about their angsty emo teen years with a bit of romantic fantasy rolled in. Upon her arrival to a small town in Washington state, Bella and Edward (Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson) fall madly in love. However, in the story's sequel, these star-crossed lovers can't seem to agree on a minor dispute – whether or not to turn Bella into a vampire. So when bad boy Edward bolts, Bella bites off more than she can chew by rebounding to some younger blood in Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner).

I posed one question in my review of Twilight: will I become a member of Team Edward or Team Jacob? Before I answer that question, I'd like to review Twilight: New Moon as a comparison to the first film. Being about a breakup, New Moon isn't jam packed with gushy, puppy-love, overly romanticized writing. Edward still feels the need to declare his love for Bella, like clockwork. But since he's mostly AWOL, I wasn't bombarded with sonnets and cheesy Hallmark poems in every scene. This story is about the budding relationship between Bella and Jacob, the young boy who grew up to be a young man who grew up into a werewolf, marked by a long awaited, desperately needed haircut (or at least the removal of an awful wig).

Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner

The relationship between Bella and Jacob is much more organic. They had known each other since they were very young. Even though they didn't necessarily grow up together, their new relationship develops as that of two human teenagers, not a girl and a monster. That is, until he becomes “a man”.

Which brings me to the question I ask (and will answer) for this review: have I learned anything from having seen the second installment of the Twilight Saga? Yes. Emo girls who grow up into emo women write romanticized stories about their angsty emo teen years A LOT! Here is how the plot of these two stories have panned out so far: Girl falls in love with an older man, a bad boy. Boy loves her, but is too dangerous for her so he runs away. Girl remembers a friend, a young boy. Boy has since become a man. Boy loves her, but is too dangerous for her so he runs away. Monsters try to kill her but are convinced not to. Girl tries to kill herself, one boy tries to kill himself, another boy saves her life. Other monsters try to kill her but are also convinced not to.

This juxtaposition is a terribly transparent metaphor teaching young girls that all boys will eventually grow up to become dangerous beasts who, when angered in the slightest, could not be held responsible for their own actions. On the contrary, it also romanticizes men, depicting them as righteous heroes who would sacrifice their love and their lives to keep their woman out of harms way.

That having been said, the decision between Edward or Jacob is really a matter of what kind of jerk would you prefer. Consulting some of the arguments I vaguely remember from some Burger King commercials of yore, my vote would have to be with Team Jacob. He makes for a great heat source, being extremely warm-blooded, you can nap and eat meals together like normal people, he's a handyman, he can venture out into the daylight, and he can most likely procreate normal human babies (will come back to this topic when I inevitably review the fourth Twilight story). Furthermore, Edward is unwilling to obey Bella's wishes and let her become a vampire, damned immortal soul and all. By the end of the film, Jacob is totally willing to put her life in danger, keeping her around just to he can finally get some! But Bella wants what Bella can't have – an older man too dangerous for her own good who lusts for her flesh at every single kiss. Jacob, you poor horny bastard... I feel for you.

Lastly, I'm glad to report that now that werewolves have been sighted in the Twilight Saga, some decent action scenes have utilized much better visual effects. Sure, I loved the quirkiness of the pickup baseball game in the first story. But it doesn't quite top giant werewolves biting at each other and tearing vampires apart. Oh yeah, did I mention these werewolves are like... 5 feet tall, on all fours? Awesome.

I think I may skip reading the novelized version of New Moon and skip the third story Eclipse altogether. I'm eager to see what's in store for these star-crossed lovers as the saga comes to an end. With a title like Breaking Dawn for a series called Twilight, who wouldn't be?

Rating: 5.0 out of 10

Twilight - Kill Me If I'm Not Undead

Directed by Catherine Hardwicke

Written by Melissa Rosenberg

Based on the novel by Stephenie Meyer

Novel Published 10-05-05

Film Released 11-21-08

Bella, Edwards and the Cullen family

I'll be the first to admit that I was once afraid of the things that go bump in the night. But just like Pixar's Monster's Inc., first-time author Stephenie Meyer turned the subject of terrible monsters into something laughable. Bella and Edward begin an "epic" love-at-first-sight romance as the two struggle between their differences - she's the new girl in town, he's a bloodsucking vampire; she's a Pisces, he's a 100-year-old undead being; etc. 

It may not come to any surprise that the film adaptation was primarily targeted towards little girls (of all ages), to relate with the lonely, outcast, average-looking girl Bella (Kristen Stewart), to swoon over and be romanced by the bad boy, troubled, "Adonis" Edward (Robert Pattinson). Naturally, as a heterosexual male in my mid-20s, my instincts kicked in to just ignore the film or simply grimace anytime two or more girls began clucking over Edward or Jacob - Bella's other hottie boy-toy who happens to be a werewolf played by Taylor Lautner.  

But a short verbal critique of a fellow writer (who, yes, happens to be a girl) convinced me to at least try the story, "tragic Romeo and Juliet-esque tale, dueling families over a beautiful girl, werewolves versus vampires, etc." Now, I'm down to give ol' Billy Shakes a fair shot, and I've always had a certain fascination with mythological creatures - usually of Greek heritage, but Harry Potter had successfully convinced me that werewolves are cool, too. 

So I borrowed a friend's copy of the book, rented the audio CDs from the library, and gave the story and characters their fair shot at winning me over - without pretty boys glistening in the sunlight to distract me. 

The story of these characters from Forks "no-wheres-ville", Washington is a decent one. A unique family of vampires have learned to control their hunger by merely feeding on animal blood, "like a human surviving on tofu - nutritious enough, but never quite satisfying." Edward Cullen is a lonely old man in a young, handsome body who finally meets his soul mate in Bella Swan. She's a 17-year-old girl who decides to live with her father in Forks when her mother and step-father move away from Phoenix to Florida. Also smitten by Bella, Jacob Black is a 15-year-old Native American from the local Reservation whose kooky father believes the Cullens were the original vampires that his father the Chief banished from the Reservation decades ago. 

While the tale of Twilight has some potential, the writing of Meyer leaves quite a bit to be desired. Or does it? Little did I know that when I picked up this novel that I was about to begin an incredibly journey into my first piece of female erotic literature... for teens. Saved from the ridiculous euphemisms and innuendo, I was still enveloped in a sea of "he was gorgeous and still, like a Greek god" at least three times per chapter - sometimes three times per paragraph! The prose was inundated with simplistic imagery of Edward (along with the rest of his vampire family). The descriptions were relatively unimaginative and too few in variation, yet remained the main ingredient of the novel. Granted, the novel was written in first person perspective of Bella. "What else should I have expected," I asked myself every few minutes.

So finally, out of mere curiosity, I rented the film on Blu-ray. Having absorbed the story, survived the female inner-monologue writing, I felt I owed it to myself and you - my readers - to make a final, educated review of Twilight. 

As to be expected of each and every book-to-film adaptation, much of the story was omitted, repatched or butchered. The special effects of the wire-work vampire superspeedy running and vampire superstrength using prop treetrunks were campy and poorly executed. The performances of the secondary cast greatly outmatched the melodramatic "pause for effect" style of the lead performers. The visual design and palette of the film worked quite well, as per the book's description - gloomy and rainy. The action and fighting scenes at the end of the film were slightly campy as well. But I find that, since the days of the old B-movies of Dracula, Frankenstein and zombies, monster attacks on humans have always been more campy than seriously scary, simply in order to show a closeup of the makeup, fangs, blood, etc. Otherwise, you end up with overly gory, shockingly frightening films like 28 Days Later. 

The only question that remains is whether I will read or watch the second installment Twilight: New Moon. My answer: If I ever want to figure out to which team I belong - Edward or Jacob (or my write-in nomination of "Neither") - a viewing in the near future is almost certain. But I suspect I'll have CCR's "Bad Moon On The Rise" on repeat until then. 

Rating: 3.5 out of 10

Exceptional Can't Begin to Describe Inception (SPOILER-FREE)

Written and Directed by Christopher Nolan
Released July 16, 2010

[Spoiler-free]

After several hours of having my mind thoroughly pulverized in an IMAX-sized blender, I attempted to write out the complex plot to Christopher Nolan'sInception so that I may better understand the story, search for any plot holes, or just to highlight the sheer brilliance of this sci-fi caper film. Leonardo DiCaprio and Joseph Gordon-Levitt play Cobb and Arthur – two dream-weaving thieves hired by Japanese corporate big shot Saito (Ken Watanabe) to explore the deepest realms of a man's mind. Inside the subconscious of Saito's rival and heir to the family business Robert Fischer Jr. (Cillian Murphy), a young student Ariadne played by Ellen Page can create an entire world within his subconscious. Through this concept called shared dreaming, Cobb and his team of thieves extract secrets, manipulate the dreamer, and even implant ideas… hopefully. If things get too fishy, the dreamer's subconscious can turn on the intruders, permanently leaving them in a nightmarish limbo. If you choose to not see this film for the breathtaking visual effects, Hans Zimmer's beautiful score of haunting bellows, or the Oscar-worthy ensemble performances, then see it for the fantasy. In an otherwise bleak reality, movies have always been an escape to a place of wonder, adventure, horror or bliss. And there is no story that better equates the art of film to the unlimited capacity of dreams. 

Rating: 9 out of 10

Paramore - "All We Know Is Falling"

Recently, I caught a television special on Paramore, the Tennessee punk rock band growing more and more popular with each album it releases. My copy of their very successful sophomore album Riot! is thoroughly worn out from repeated plays. Their first mainstream punk rock success was enough to award them a spot on the Twilight soundtrack (bonus track “Decode” on their international release ofBrand New Eyes, 2009). However, it was two music videos from their debut album – which I had yet to hear – that inspired me to grab a copy and find out if their earlier work was any good or, in retrospect, a speed bump on Paramore’s road to success. 

All We Know Is Falling was released in July 2005 from the label Fueled By Ramen. Prior the release of their second album, it sold only 50,000 copies. However, as of April 2009, it has sold over 405,000 copies. 

The album cover art – an empty red couch – pays homage to the former bass guitarist Jeremy Davis who left the band and later rejoined shortly after the album’s release. His leaving was the inspiration for the album title and first track “All We Know”. The impact of this experience really resonates from the powerful, rebellious lyrics. “Now we could follow you back home but we won’t” is the epitomic motto of angsty teenagers. By the time the album was released, singer/songwriter Hayley Williams was only 16 years old. 

The second and third tracks continue to perpetuate the emotions of cruel teenage life. The music video for “Pressure” captures the essence of what it’s like for teens dealing with the pressures of work, sexual identity, and growing up. The song’s driving vocals and catchy guitar riffs are certain to inspire a crowd of concert-goers to sing along. “Emergency” is a melodramatic song that, presumably, likens Davis’ leaving to a fatal medical emergency. Messages about crying, dying, and “[deserving] to be alive” are imagined in a complex music video of the band filming a music video. The musicians are costumed as either crash victims or zombies and drearily make their way on stage as if their former bandmate is the lifeblood missing from their group. The music alternates from guitar picking to strong power chords in a way that effectively replicates the anxious and tense mood of real emergencies.

However, the rest of the album fails to impress me. “Here We Go Again”, “Never Let This Go” lead with catchy rhythms and melodies but suddenly break to sluggish choruses that favor off-beats and time measure changes. The latter half of the album is riddled with poorly designed songs that have loads of potential – great guitar riffs, powerful drum and bass lines, and touching lyrics. For those screamo fans, the final track “My Heart” even features screaming vocals by guitarist Josh Farro.

Overall, I see Paramore’s All We Know Is Falling as a fairly typical debut album for a young punk rock band. Losing Jeremy Davis clearly had a significant emotional impact on the band’s music. There are a few excellent songs that speak well to the audience of teenage punk rock. But generally, the songwriting is overwhelmed by the not-so-subliminal messaging of the band’s melodrama.

Thankfully, the old band reunited and even added a few of the touring musicians as official members. And it shows. Riot! (also released from Fueled By Ramen) has ballads like “When It Rains” and “We Are Broken” that are more clearly defined and formulated. Likewise, Paramore continued to write driving songs that are so catchy that they can only be described as infectious. “Misery Business” is their smash hit single that is full of Williams’ emotional teen-girl angst, but is able to stand on its own as an empowering punk rock song. The song’s message is vengeful, being in “the business of misery”, which almost seems to pay homage to the entire debut album dedicated to the bandmember than ran out on them. But since his return, Paramore has finally gotten over their misery and back to the business of entertainment, which has made me one happy punk rocker.

Rating: 2 out of 5

Official music video "Pressure" by Paramore

Official music video "Emergency" by Paramore

Wall-E - The Little Tramp meets The Little Trash Compactor

Directed by Andrew Stanton
Written by Andrew Stanton, Pete Docter & Jim Reardon
Release Date: June 27, 2008

Wall-E and Eve dance among the stars outside the Axiom Spaceship.

Once again, Pixar brings enchanting characters to life in their ninth full-length feature Wall-E. The film is set in a desolate future almost 700 years after the Earth is deemed uninhabitable. The planet’s sole occupant: a small trash-compacting robot with such a lovable personality, Earth’s satellite-riddled atmosphere cannot contain him. Wall-E is a dreamer who, against all odds, discovers love when a strange, sleek robot named Eve is sent to Earth in search for plant-life so the human race may return home from their interstellar exile. 

While some viewers feel that the dialogue-deprived first act equates to a lack of story, the budding love affair between Wall-E and an unconscious Eve in standby-mode is a heartwarming exposition that can stand up to any Charlie Chaplin classic. The journey to the human’s ship (à la Carnival or Royal Caribbean) is a montage of breathtaking scenes past our gigantic sun, through Saturn’s icy rings, to the astronomical ship Axiom hidden in a cosmic cloud. Aboard the ship, a good old fashioned tale of mutiny threatens to keep the human race adrift in a sea of lethargy and complacency, void of genuine human contact. But in the end, Wall-E leaves its viewers with an overwhelming feeling of optimism, appreciation, and wonder.

Wall-E explores fascinating new places.

Wall-E voted #45 of Top 250 at IMDb
Wall-E gets 96% at Rotten Tomatoes
Wall-E at Wikipedia
Wall-E grosses $521m worldwide at Box Office Mojo

Excellent roundtable interview with director/writer Andrew Stanton:
Part 1
Part 2: Sci-Fi and Hello Dolly
Part 3: Environmental Themes in Wall-E
Part 4: Directing Animation

First Re:Post - Who Am I

I had a very short blog going on for a while via facebook but decided to make it more public. While this repost has nothing to do with reviewing movies, music, tv or books, it is a commentary on a certain infographic venn diagram, categorizing the difference between Dweebs, Geeks, Dorks and Nerds.

I had a bone to pick with how they described each of these labels and decided to write my own definitions. I think this entry kind of explains to you who I am. Enjoy!

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Nerds & Geeks & Dorks! Oh My!
Original Posting on March 31, 3010 at 2:36pm

Recently, it was brought to my attention that a Venn Diagram exists, defining the attributes, once and for all, of the many of us who have been labeled Nerds, Geeks, Dorks, or even the classic Dweebs.

For years now, I have come to accept these labels as a truth, and embraced them. But somehow, I still felt offended at the name-calling - not the act of calling me a name, but of the confusion that arose from my accuser's choice of labels.

I have developed my own definitions of these labels which only barely agree with those descriptions in the Venn Diagram (posted at the bottom). The arguments I have against the Diagram are threefold:

1) I do not believe that the term NERD is the compilation of the GEEK, the DORK, and the DWEEB.

2) The definitions of each label should be mutually exclusive.

3) "DWEEB" is an outdated label that does not apply to anyone in modern times.

Nevertheless, here are my definitions:

NERD - A label based on the level of academic interest and understanding. i.e.: Bookworms, Scientists, Professors, Advanced Placement Students, Honor Roll Students, etc.

GEEK - A label based on the level of hobby-obsession. i.e.: Trekkers, Comic Book fans, LOTR fans, anime fans, video game fans, movies/TV fans, LARPers, etc.

DORK - A label based on the level of social ineptitude.


Now, many would argue that GEEKS are often very intelligent and usually socially inept. Or that NERDS are often obsessed with comics and fantasy. Or that DORKS are any of the above.

This is true! This is because any given person may fall under any/all/or none of these categories.

For my examples, I will use one of my favorite nerds from The Big Bang Theory:

-  Sheldon Cooper is definitely a NERD because he constantly exudes an air of academia.
-  He is also a GEEK because of his obsession with comics, computers, and Sci-Fi, among other things.
-  He is also a DORK because of his practice and perspective on social behavior (due to his NERDY need to constantly be objective).


Misconceptions:

NERDY, not DORKY or GEEKY: Exhibiting intelligence unrelated to a particular hobby in a socially acceptable way (Oscar the accountant from The Office)

GEEKY, not DORKY: Tame or Closet obsession (Seeing a midnight premier of a film, but not dressing up.)

GEEKY, not NERDY: Non-academic hobbies (Pokemon, Fantasy Sports, Marching Band)

DORKY, not GEEKY: The Chicken Dance, the YMCA, or the Macarena.

DORKY, not NERDY:
In a chatroom discussion that stumbled upon the entanglement of electronic device cords, a user cracked a joke, "Further research to be conducted on Knot Theory." This joke refers to the String Theory, a very complex branch of quantum mechanics. While this joke was very NERDY, it would not take a NERD to understand it, which makes the joke more DORKY than anything. The recipients of that joke would need a fair amount of intelligence to make the connection and see its humor, but a NERD might not see the humor due to his/her in depth understanding of the research of String Theory (which, in fact, has nothing to do with actual strings and therefore neither with knots).


*** EDIT *** It seems there is actually a theory called Knot Theory ... so I'm neither a NERD nor a DORK. I guess my interpreting that chat as a joke just makes me a DWEEB...


Now, I understand that many of these labels apply to the majority of us geeks, nerds, and dorks. But there are very specific traits about us that makes each and every one of us unique. No nerd is like any other geek. No dork is like any other dweeb.

If I'm dancing in front of my dog, please, don't call me a nerd unless I explain to you the sociological study I'm conducting on the relationship between master and pet. Most likely, I just want to see his confused face - it's adorable. Just call me a dork.

If you recognize that the shirt I'm wearing sports the molecule of Vicodin, you're as much of a chemist nerd as I am a House geek.

For your judgment, below is the Venn Diagram that inspired this blog.

There's only one question left to ask: what kinda loser are you? :)